


Colourful/Colourless

by Silver_Sterling



Series: Stingue Week 2016 [5]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Dissociation, M/M, descriptive, hinted eating disorder, proud of this, self harm mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 10:43:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8575246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Sterling/pseuds/Silver_Sterling
Summary: Not even gonna lie I'm quite proud of this one. It's different to what I usually write and I just reread it now after leaving it for a month (had to show it to a friend immediately because I was both happy and nervous about how it turned out compared to my usual stuff and luckily she warned me about over-editing so I just left it) and I honestly can't remember how I felt when I wrote this. Dissociation and just kind of emptiness is something I've been dealing with through parts of this year by distracting myself and I thought it worked with the theme and their personalities. I always try and translate a characters magic or power or whatever into something similar in the real world if I do modern aus and the only thing I can think of for these two is something arty like photography (where light and shadow are so important). Photographer headcanons: Sting uses bright clashing colours and Rogue used all black and white until they met and kind of balanced eachother. Now if they work on something it'd be one of those ones that's in black and white with one bright colour accented - you know what I mean?It's very important to me that while Stingue is definitely a relationship that hints heavily at mutual dependency that we acknowledge full on dependence is a scary, pressurising thing and they're both ultimately only responsible for themselves which is where the last line comes in.  Also so not a fan of one (and 99% of the time it's Sting) 'saving' the other from their problems just with their presence or by loving them and that's not how it works. People can help you with issues and give you temporary ways to cope and recover without you having to depend on them forever and in fact I think that's probably how it should be? I mean I don't think they would break up but that's why I put that in there.  Also if anyone knows any art of like Sting in full colours and Rogue in monochrome I'd really love to see it or like Rogue in monochrome with red eyes like the accented colour thing I was talking about before. I honestly loved this prompt for them so much. Stingue week is over! I'm gonna be writing more BNHA which I really recommend you watch/read and get back to my Gratsu fic (which has so much Stingue in it like more Stingue moments than Gratsu atm help). I'll stop rambling now - have a nice day and thank you for reading :)





	

Sting had always filled his life with colour. Bright, sunny yellows, vibrant blues and dazzling golds seeping into every corner, washing across the bleary realities of everyday life.

At first it had just been a distraction, chasing bright lights that showed the way forward instead of staying in the darkness. Now it verged on obsession. Citrine blue eyes automatically avoiding darker, dreary colours as he floated through the city. Dull colours were boring, too murky to draw clear lines and put them into clear boxes. They muddied his thoughts and dragged him back to darker times when he had just lost his father. Extinguishing the biggest light in his life with his own hands, no less, to be left at the mercy of the shadows.

It was easier to avoid them and run than face up to the consequences of what he had done. The guilt always eating away more than he could consume and regain but that was in the background so he didn’t care, not much.

Loneliness began to wear away at his edges when he collapsed exhausted at home and the clashing colours covering his walls no longer jarred him from his thoughts. He didn’t feel right in his own skin. Wasn’t there, not really. Tattoos would be nice if he had the money. Instead he settled for streams of red running down pale wrists. The scars were dull but they could be covered by bright blue gloves, keeping him separate from the world.

He used to take pictures. Spending days on end searching for pretty colours to fit his aesthetics and plaster his walls with. So much beauty in the world to be captured. Except now, when it was a rarity and everything was a blur.

Restless amongst the greys of college classrooms, his attention never held long. His mind screaming in unease channelled into bouncing legs thudding against wooden tables, leaving bruises too unsaturated for him to care. Outside the leafy greens of grass were marred by mud and frost, flowers seemed to wither up and disintegrate in front of his eyes as the trees were stripped bare by harsh wind. Light slipped away faster at this time of year, spilling through his clenched fingers no matter how hard he grasped.

Colours blurred and distorted with time, it only took one second for a darker tone to grey the rest, and often he would end up trapped in the dark, having to desperately sprint home past shadow demons and objects robbed of their colour before they caught him.

On one of those evenings he wasn’t going to make it. He could feel something gaining on him, prickling and creeping up his spine where his clothes blocked out the remaining light. Seeking refuge in a warmly lit café with walls the colour of blood, he burst through the doors and leant heavily against the nearest table panting before he made eye contact with its occupant.

A monochrome man who seemed to blend in with the shadows. Dark greying circles sunk under his eyes, wasted youth pooling in dents in the porcelain skin that contrasted so starkly with inky locks and jet black robes. His eyes might as well have been blank too, seeming to reflect the colour of the room instead of holding any of their own.

His heart lurched in his chest, his stomach clenching in its place as he stared at the embodiment of everything he was not. How could he remain so calm like this? Swathes of darkness and shadow hanging loosely off his slender frame instead of reaching for his neck and choking. Life and colour had been drained out of him, yet he was still very much alive. A spark flickered in the back of blank staring eyes and Sting felt safe, but only just.

He felt those eyes boring into him as the man spoke, deep and rich and dark, and it vibrated in Sting’s bones, shaking the unease from them. Still he was wary as he sat down, sweat rolling down his palms and darkening thinner patches of worn material and he found he didn’t care, not as much. Staring at the wrinkled cloth, his panic was not for fear of the dark but rather the fear of being without fear. It was strange. Empty. Calm. He should have been horrified but as the man’s voice washed over him and he found himself replying, only noticing when his throat rumbled with warmth that the fear was just not there. It would be back, he knew that at least, but for now, for now he was safe with the man who conquered shadow and darkness.

Months passed as Rogue made his way into Sting’s life, bringing colourlessness without taking any colour in its place. Teaching him how to ground himself in the night sky instead of the stars that shone brighter. Adding depth and gradient and variety, endless possibilities after the limits Sting had inadvertently set upon himself. And in return, although he needed no compensation, Sting taught Rogue how to lose himself in the moment, highlight important memories with colour amongst greyscale, to live. He watched as colour flooded into previously sullen cheeks and even tired bags gained peach and plum underneath. In turn he became more defined and real, he owned his body more now than ever before.

They weren’t perfect by any means but they were alive. And if one day they weren’t together, Sting had grown and wasn’t afraid of the dark anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Not even gonna lie I'm quite proud of this one. It's different to what I usually write and I just reread it now after leaving it for a month (had to show it to a friend immediately because I was both happy and nervous about how it turned out compared to my usual stuff and luckily she warned me about over-editing so I just left it) and I honestly can't remember how I felt when I wrote this. Dissociation and just kind of emptiness is something I've been dealing with through parts of this year by distracting myself and I thought it worked with the theme and their personalities. 
> 
> I always try and translate a characters magic or power or whatever into something similar in the real world if I do modern aus and the only thing I can think of for these two is something arty like photography (where light and shadow are so important). Photographer headcanons: Sting uses bright clashing colours and Rogue used all black and white until they met and kind of balanced eachother. Now if they work on something it'd be one of those ones that's in black and white with one bright colour accented - you know what I mean?
> 
> It's very important to me that while Stingue is definitely a relationship that hints heavily at mutual dependency that we acknowledge full on dependence is a scary, pressurising thing and they're both ultimately only responsible for themselves which is where the last line comes in. Also so not a fan of one (and 99% of the time it's Sting) 'saving' the other from their problems just with their presence or by loving them and that's not how it works. People can help you with issues and give you temporary ways to cope and recover without you having to depend on them forever and in fact I think that's probably how it should be? I mean I don't think they would break up but that's why I put that in there. 
> 
> Also if anyone knows any art of like Sting in full colours and Rogue in monochrome I'd really love to see it or like Rogue in monochrome with red eyes like the accented colour thing I was talking about before. I honestly loved this prompt for them so much. 
> 
> Stingue week is over! I'm gonna be writing more BNHA which I really recommend you watch/read and get back to my Gratsu fic (which has so much Stingue in it like more Stingue moments than Gratsu atm help). I'll stop rambling now - have a nice day and thank you for reading :)


End file.
